Summertime

Students and teachers are counting down the final days before summer vacation. What do you have planned with your children to ensure that when they return to school in the fall they've retained what they learned during the previous school year? Children can lose up to three months of knowledge over the summer break (Dr. Henry Cooper, University of Missouri) so it's important that in between the video games, bike rides, sleepovers, and family vacations you incorporate opportunities to help your child apply what they've learned. So then the question is, "How do I keep teaching my children without them getting bored?" Below are a list of five things you can incorporate this summer that will keep your child in the know, having fun and ready for the 2012--2013 school year:

• The Professionals:  Talk with your child's teacher(s) before this school year is over. Even if you've never attended a Parent-Teacher Conference, it's not too late to call the teacher and schedule an appointment.  During this meeting you want to find out: what subject areas your child may need to improve/develop in and does the teacher have any suggestions as to how you can incorporate learning into your child's summer break. Trust what the teacher is saying because he/she is the professional.
• Reading is Fundamental:  Make sure you and your child both have library cards and take advantage of the "free stuff" offered at your public library for your child's age group. Go to the library with your child, especially children between between the ages of 18mos and 13yrs old, make it part of a day out. The library has something for everyone and this gives you the opportunity to find out what your child's interests are. Read to and with your child everyday and if that's not possible, at least 3 days out of the week. Your local library will also have lists of recommended reading for your school aged child.
• Write About It: Take your child to buy a journal (composition book or a decorative journal $1 at the your local Dollar Tree) and require that they journal at least twice a week.  Make it clear that you will be reading the journal and the purpose is mainly to ensure that their writing skills stay strong or show improvement.  I would suggest investing in a student's desk reference set for older children and make sure they know how to use it to get the full benefits. This is the day and age of technology but children still need to know the basics. Merriam-Webster has a line of products for children ages 5 and up. This will help you identify opportunities for growth and development in your child's education.
• Picture It: Vacations, outings to local museums, parks, days out with the family capture it in photographs and talk about it with your children and ask your child to write a few sentences in their journal about their experience.
• Technology: The internet has many FREE programs available for school aged children of all ages to enhance their learning.

It's been said the best things in life are free and the best thing you can do is spend time with your child.  Talk, listen, play and learn. For more ideas and information email me at sistersconnected@gmail.com 

Have a fantabulous day! We'll talk again soon.

Lessons of Life Learned in Kindergarten

Some of the best advice I can give you is to allow your children to experience the wonder, joy, and wisdom that comes when you enroll them in daycare/Pre-K and Kindergarten. The poem I will share today was given to me when I was 21 yrs old. I was completing my internship at the Hertford County Office on Aging in Winton, NC and the staff presented me with a poster signed by all of them and it simply read the following:

All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

by Robert Fulghum
                        - an excerpt from the book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten 

All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do
and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not
at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the
sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.
So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned - the biggest
word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.
Take any of those items and extrapolate it into
sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your
family life or your work or your government or
your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if
all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about
three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with
our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments
had a basic policy to always put thing back where
they found them and to clean up their own mess.
And it is still true, no matter how old you
are - when you go out into the world, it is best
to hold hands and stick together.

© Robert Fulghum, 1990. 
Found in Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990, page 6-7.

The rules have changed over the years but more than likely if you're at least 30 yrs old, you remember when things were simpler. However, it doesn't change what I believe to be a fact that Robert Fulghum was on to something when he wrote this prose as a part of his book.  I believe that if we teach our children these basic principles then we might actually have a chance of saving the world. Yes, I believe in God and Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior but even He keeps it simple. I know everyone may not practice the same faith that I do but what's written above are the simple things in life and when I work with children this is what works. 

Anyway, I don't have much left to say...It's 3 o'clock and think I'll go have a some cookies and milk.

Have a fantabulous day! We'll talk again soon...

Because I Said So...House Rules

"Because I said so." How many times have you said that to your child? This morning when I was deciding what to write about, I remembered hearing those words many times from my mom's lips as she looked at me like either I had lost my mind or clearly she had brought the wrong child home from the hospital. I'll be honest, as much as I dreaded hearing those words, I had a certain amount of respect for my mom because she didn't sway or bend the rules of her house.
The moment you decide to have a baby you have to decide what the standards/rules of your house are going to be. Let's face it, we've all seen children being unruly with their parents out in public and thought (among other things), "What in the WORLD..." The primary reason children throw tantrums, hit/kick their parents, yell at them and call them names is because there are no standards set in the home. You can't make up all of the rules as you go along you've got to have some of them already in place. Don't get me wrong, I know children are going to try you but that's just it their trying you.  They want to know if mommy and daddy are going to do what they said they would do.  You have to follow through with consequences. Establishing rules along with clear and age appropriate consequences helps your child's mental and social development. Believe it or not, children don't just need rules, they like them! Rules show your children that you care. My mom was able to respond with, "Because I said so", because 9 times out of 10, I already knew what she was going to say, because of the rules she had already put into place. It's never too late to start establishing rules for your house. If your children are older it might be challenging but set them anyway; you can even let your children have some input, discuss the rules with your children, make sure the rules are age appropriate and that the consequences for breaking the rules are clear and most importantly follow through. Below is the link to the website for the show, "Super Nanny", with helpful information about setting rules.
 www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Supernanny.../House-rules.aspx



Have a fantabulous day! Why? Because I said so!  We'll talk again soon.

Dream, Child, Dream

Langston Hughes wrote the following poem:

Harlem (Dream Deferred)

BY LANGSTON HUGHES

What happens to a dream deferred?

      Does it dry up

      like a raisin in the sun?

      Or fester like a sore—

      And then run?

      Does it stink like rotten meat?

      Or crust and sugar over—

      like a syrupy sweet?

      Maybe it just sags

      like a heavy load.

      Or does it explode?

  Children always dream big! Imagination coupled with their innocence leaves little if any room for limitations. Dreams are important. They give us something to hope, strive and reach for. Dreams give us a reason to live. Guard your child's dreams from words that would put them in a box limiting their thinking, killing their hopes or blinding them so that they have no vision. The most powerful thing you can do to encourage your child to dream is to have one of your own. Talk about your dreams with your children and allow them to see you working towards making your dream a reality.  Langston Hughes asked a very important question, "What happens to a dream deferred?" He gives us scenarios to ponder over...each one more sickening to the imagination than the previous one. Don't allow your children to defer there dreams, even if they seem impossible and unreachable in your mind; speak to them and tell them, "Dream, child, dream". 


Have a fantabulous day! We'll talk again soon.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

RESPECT! Merriam-Webster defines respect as high or special regard (worth).  Having worked with many children and families (personally and professionally) over the past 20 years, I realize that many children are either no longer being taught about respect or they just don't understand the importance of it. Many parents teach their children that an individual has to earn respect and in a way that's true; however, respect in its truest form is given so that it can be earned. I observe children and their parents interacting with each other and trust me, whatever behavior parents demonstrate around their children, nine times out of ten, it is displayed in the behavior/actions of the child. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart (deviate) from it." --Proverbs 22:6 I encourage you to teach your child the meaning and importance of respect  As a child I was taught that every individual should be held in high or special regard no matter what their status in life. My elders were quick to remind me that when I was out of their sight I represented them and that my actions towards others demonstrated what I was being taught at home.  Did I always do the right thing? NO! However, the majority of the time I displayed the standards that had been set in my mother's home and by the people that were part of the "village"**.  Even if your child is a teenager and you're wondering if it's too late, I believe it is better late than never. Be as honest as you can with your young one and explain to them that you realize you need to teach them a few values, that somewhere in the midst of life happening you may have neglected to teach them.  By all means whatever standard you set be sure to practice what you preach. Start by teaching them about RESPECT and be sure to add the word "self" to the front of it. Acknowledging that each of us should hold ourselves in high or special regard (worth). 


Have a fantabulous day! We'll talk again soon.


**Village refers to the topic of the April 26, 2012 post

It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

Let's face it, being a parent is probably the most challenging but rewarding job there is. Whether you're a parent or like me, you've had the wonderful opportunity of helping others raise their children, you know it's not easy. I'm a southern girl and a product of the African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child".  My mother was a divorced, working mother of five children and she is the first to admit, that without the love and support of her aunts and uncles, she doesn't know how she would have made it. I can honestly believe that my mom's struggles and challenges with my siblings and me would have been far greater if it weren't for my great aunts and uncles who gave their time, love, wisdom and even finances to support my mom. I encourage you, whether you're  married or a single parent, to find yourself a village.  Your village is a circle of people whom you can trust and who truly have your family's best interest at heart. These are the people who will play a key role in the development of your children. They will have a hand in everything from taking your child to daycare/school, keeping them when you need a break, disciplining them when necessary,etc. The "village" is also needed so your children know they have other people they can turn to for advice, because no matter how much of an open communication relationship you have with your child there is always something that they feel they just can't talk to you about. Widen your circle and build a village for your child. You'll be so glad you did.